No matter where you are in the world of weed, you can always count on Twitter to provide timely, insightful, and just plain funny commentary that is joyously, and painfully, relatable. Whether they’re savage CBD oil memes or more people continuously dunking on Elon Musk (Yep, he made the cut), the modern cannabis sphere is on full display on Twitter.
Here are 15 must-see weed tweets that will speak to every stoner in the sesh.
Girl Scouts are the FEDS
A Girl Scout banged on my door so loud I started to put my weed away cuz I thought she was the FEDS
— Cc (@cceazyy) February 24, 2019
Is it possible that the feds have infiltrated the Girl Scouts in an elaborate nationwide sting operation? Probably not, but we’ve all experienced the paranoid panic of getting a loud knock on the door when the weed is out and thinking the feds are about to bust in.
“What was your first time smoking weed like?”
— 𝒜𝓈𝒽𝓁𝑒𝓎 🇮🇶 (@ShethaFuckup) February 2, 2019
The time-honored new stoner’s tradition of digging into that giant, seemingly endless bag of chips … with an adorable, hilarious twist.
Find the Weed Smoker
find the weed smoker:
can’t find them?
that’s because they live among us, looking like normal people. the only real difference is they’re going to hell
— rudy mustang (@rudy_mustang) December 2, 2018
Listen, we tokers all know we’re going to Hell (and with all of us there it’s gonna be LIT). It’s just nice to know that the rest of the world is starting to see us as rational, functioning human beings.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Elon Musk
Elon Musk is such an innovator he created a way to look lame smoking a blunt pic.twitter.com/dM7Ndd99QA
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 7, 2018
It was the blunt hit heard ’round the world. When Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk took a shockingly awkward hit from a blunt on Joe Rogan’s podcast, he ignited a firestorm of memes — pointing out everything from the fact that Musk didn’t inhale to questions about the hypocrisy of Musk enjoying a blunt hit.
Weed: Your Friend to the Bitter End
Me: I’m sad
My weed: pic.twitter.com/DkMnipo6sF
— Stoned 2 the Bone (@stoned2thabones) October 17, 2018
When you’re down … and troubled … and you need some love and care … close your eyes and think of … weed.
Dog Thinks Weed is a Toy
Who wants a dog?! He thinks my weed is a toy… 🙄🙄 pic.twitter.com/3x89Gtt0le
— 🇩🇴Jay 😜 (@JaySimeo) September 2, 2018
This dog (fittingly named Diablo) is taking the oh-shit-my-pet-got-into-the-weed situation to a whole new, highly stressful level.
Canada is Winning
So they got free healthcare and legal weed.
Canada up 2-0 in the Finals https://t.co/SEih19TSKX
— Cleveland Browns Fan Account (@PennDusko) June 20, 2018
Canada‘s national legalization rollout has been something of an uphill climb with procedural hiccups along the way, but the overall success of legal weed in Canada is making those of us in the U.S. mad jealous.
Me on Ellen
*me on ellen*
ellen: so i heard you smoke weed every day
my high ass: yeah…
*snoop dogg walks in with a blunt*
me: omg ellen you didn’t
— ⋆ 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿 ˚✰ (@tristehomo) March 6, 2019
Most variations on the viral “Me on Ellen” meme have been decidedly dark, albeit hilarious. But what could be more wholesome for a stoner than a surprise blunt from Snoop?
Colorado Has Legal Weed and Less School
man they got legal weed and 4 day school weeks…wow a state https://t.co/DtKzWRGGtP
— papi (@ELDOLLAZ) August 15, 2018
To be clear: Legal weed is cool, but less education for young people is not. But damn if Colorado, one of America’s pioneer states for legal weed, doesn’t seem chill AF right now.
Smoking Top-Shelf with Alex Jones and Joe Rogan
smoking top shelf for the first time: pic.twitter.com/EFy9vV15HI
— christian (@liquornlambos) March 4, 2019
Alex Jones and Joe Rogan recently ended their weird feud with an even weirder episode of Rogan’s podcast, where the two made public amends and Jones did a massively entertaining deep dive into conspiracy theories. Thankfully, somebody had the foresight to turn the bizarre interview into a hilarious portrait of just how far out things can get when we toke on the really good stuff.
These Edibles Ain’t Shit
Me: these edibles ain’t sh*t
(30 minutes later) pic.twitter.com/VMCMTVek9v
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) December 11, 2018
One of “The Daily Show” ’s simpler, yet finer moments on social media — a portrait of the vice president as an utterly faded man.
Whoever Smelt It Dealt It
*police dog smells weed*
whoever smelt it dealt it
damn ur right
*dog goes to prison*
— Lazy dog (@LaziestCanine) December 3, 2013
A genius bit of stoner logic. That police dog didn’t stand a chance.
Blunt Summoning Circle
summoning circle, hope this works
🕯 A blunt 🕯
— Stoned 2 the Bone (@stoned2thabones) March 6, 2019
My mom always used to say, “Many hands make light work.” I don’t think summoning a blunt was what she had in mind, but a guy can dream.
Your Dead Grandpa Should Try CBD Oil
me: my grandpa died
guy who takes cbd: he should try cbd oil. works so good for me i swear by it. u can vape it or even eat it like in edible form
me: he’s dead
— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) December 26, 2018
Cannabidiol (CBD) oil is so big it became a meme. Like many others to come out of the CBD oil craze, this tweet offers up a simple (albeit satirical) message that people think CBD will fix everything.
Show Me Off Like Weed on Snapchat
i wanna be shown off like weed on snapchat
— thot cheetos (@ripr0se) November 5, 2018