Getting high and thinking deeply about interesting things is an intellectual pastime championed by generations of stoned philosophers.
For “Game of Thrones” fans, particularly the ones who use weed, the hit HBO series’ final season — premiering April 14, 2019 — marks the end of a golden era of wild fan theories and meticulous speculation as to how George R.R. Martin‘s epic story (the TV version, at least) would wrap up.
Though we don’t yet know what will be revealed and what will remain a mystery after the show’s final episodes, we do know that:
- There’s still plenty to mine from George R.R. Martin’s dense source material, “A Song of Ice and Fire” novels, especially given the fact that Martin has yet to finish the last two books in the series, and;
- The most enduring “Game of Thrones” theories are practically works of art in and of themselves — intricate, internet-woven compilations of “Game of Thrones” knowledge, expositions, and careful conclusions that will be a blast to think about while under the influence of your favorite strain.
For all of you stoners out there looking for something for your high-flying, deep-thinking brains to chew on before Season 8 airs, here are the epic “Game of Thrones” fan theories that’ll do the trick.
1. Tyrion is a Targaryen
“Game of Thrones” fans who haven’t read the books may find this popular theory a little far-fetched, if not an altogether improbable secret to be revealed this late in the game. Book readers, however, will be keenly aware of just how juicy it is to consider that Tyrion Lannister is actually a Targaryen.
Peter Dinklage is Tyrion Lannister, who could really be Tyrion Targaryen. (HBO/Helen Sloan)
Here’s the evidence from the books: First, When Tyrion’s father, Tywin, served as hand to King Aerys Targaryen, the legendary “Mad King” definitely had a thing for Tywin’s wife, Joanna. Second, less than a year before Joanna died giving birth to Tyrion, she and King Aerys were both present for the celebrations of the 10th year of the Mad King’s reign. Joanna had previously given birth to two healthy twins, Jamie and Cersei. Meanwhile, Aerys’ wife Queen Rhaella had suffered through several troubled, unsuccessful pregnancies — a common occurrence in the Targaryen line. Third, in the books, Daenarys’ vision in the House of the Undying includes a spectral visit from her brother Rhaegar, who says “The Dragon has Three Heads.”
Fans who subscribe to the “Tyrion Targaryen” theory argue that the three dragon heads represent three Targaryens — namely Daenarys, Jon Snow (who, SPOILER ALERT: was revealed to be the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark in Season 7), and Tyrion. The latter’s possible Targaryen lineage is also suggested in the show when Tyrion successfully confronts Dany’s dragons in Mereen when they were ready to fry anyone who crossed their path.
This theory connects a lot of dots and ties up a lot of loose ends. And if it turns out that Tyrion is, in fact, another Targaryen, it wouldn’t be the first time that fans uncovered a secret Targaryen lineage years before it was revealed.
2. Bran is Bran the Builder
There’s a whole sub-genre of “Game of Thrones” fan theories out there dedicated to Bran Stark. And why wouldn’t there be? As the Three-Eyed Raven, Bran has unlocked a number of superpowers that have made him the center of several intriguing possibilities for the story’s conclusion — the most intriguing of which is time travel.
Isaac Hempstead Wright is Bran Stark, but is he Bran the Builder? (HBO/Helen Sloan)
As Bran’s visions of the past have unfolded, it’s become clear on more than one occasion that he can actually influence the past. Many theorize that Bran has had an even greater influence on the past, present, and future of Westeros than we might think. He may even have gone back in time and become Brandon Stark, aka Bran the Builder, to build the Wall and protect the realm from the White Walker army. Among other clues from the books, Redditors have cited this passage from “A Clash of Kings” as possible evidence: “Durran would have none of it. A seventh castle he raised, most massive of all. Some said the children of the forest helped him build it, shaping the stones with magic; others claimed that a small boy told him what he must do, a boy who would grow to be Bran the Builder.”
The passage alone doesn’t necessarily suggest anything unusual about Bran the Builder’s origins, but since George R.R. Martin is no stranger to leaving subtle hints to important threads within seemingly inconsequential passages, you can hardly blame fans for making the connection. There’s also a theory that Bran is the Lord of Light, living in a future where the Night King succeeded in destroying Westeros, going back in time to alter key events. Toke up and think about that one for a while.
3. The Grand Maester Conspiracy
Complex, grandiose, yet still highly probable, the aptly named “Grand Maester Conspiracy” is the ultimate “GoT” fan theory for stoners — especially for those of us who’ve spent more than a few lit evenings careening down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theory videos on YouTube. In a nutshell, the theory posits that the maesters — Westeros’ resident scholars, physicians, historians, and scientists all rolled into one title — embarked on an organized, generation-spanning effort to eradicate all magic from the realm, stockpile evidence in the restricted halls of Old Town’s Citadel, and rewrite history to favor reason and enlightenment.
John Bradley is Samwell Tarly, who might uncover something mind-blowing from the Citadel’s history books. (HBO/Helen Sloan)
Within the Citadel, the maesters hold the largest library in the world, and essentially control much of the world’s knowledge. They’re also trained to advise the lords of all the noble houses, which means they have pretty constant access to power in the Seven Kingdoms. The history books written by the maesters suggest that the dragons died off because they were kept in bondage, which stunted their growth and ultimately weakened them into extinction. The Grand Maester Conspiracy theory proposes that the dragons were slowly poisoned by the maesters as part of their attempts to rid the world of magic.
While it’s doubtful that the final season will find the time to fully uncover the Grand Maester Conspiracy, who knows what else Samwell Tarly could uncover from the history books of the Citadel before the series ends — especially with the help of a blunt or two.